.strikethrough.

 sarah bricke

i was never satisfied with my name. how could i be, when it was always tethered to patriarchy, a construct i deplore?

why should i bear an imposed identity that is forever linked to a biological descent that i am committed to refusing in whatever ways i can?

but of course, it’s also the name that has carried me through decades of life so far. if it is bound to unsatisfying associations and ugly memories, still, it is also linked to personal histories and identity.

It was an interesting paradox, at first irresolvable. How could it hover between presence and absence? How could i deny the name without erasing it completely? How could i simultaneously refuse it and retain it?

Wouldn’t there be a specific sort of power of refusal in doing both and neither?

so if instead of

sarah x

sarah ________

sarah (fill in the blank)

i could, using a strikethrough, balance on the pivot point of that paradox, making no attempt to resolve it; but taking agency by a refusal to do either / or

sarah bricke

The strikethrough, a text convention that has also been known as a strikeout or simply as crossed-out text, has an interesting history tied to various forms of written communication. The practice of crossing out text by drawing a line through it can be traced back to the earliest forms of writing and has been found in many handwritten manuscripts throughout human history.

It has existed for as long as ineradicable mistakes have: in other words: forever.

The strikethrough has been used in various contexts, and its usage has evolved with changes in technology, communication norms, and cultural shifts. In publishing, journalism, and academia, the strikethrough has long been used as an editing and proofreading mark. This usage predates digital technology and can be traced back to handwritten manuscripts and the printing press era. In typography and typesetting, the strikethrough is a formatting option used to visually represent deleted or corrected text. It's commonly used in word processing software and graphic design applications to indicate changes made to documents or designs. In digital communication, the strikethrough has become a common feature in email clients, messaging apps, and social media platforms. It's used to denote deleted or amended text in emails, instant messages, and comments. Additionally, it's often employed for humor, sarcasm, or to convey a sense of irony or self-correction.

Writers and editors physically striking through words or sentences to indicate deletions or revisions recorded both the act of deletion and a negation that leaves the original error obscured but still indelible.

Couldn’t i do likewise?

With the advent of the printing press, the strikethrough became a common editorial mark. Printers would use a small, angled line (often resembling a forward slash) to indicate text that was to be deleted in subsequent printings. This was especially important in the days when making corrections to metal type was laborious and expensive. The strikethrough continued its role in editing with the invention of typewriters. Typists could use the backspace key to strike through text by typing hyphens or underscores over the unwanted words. Later, word processors and computer software made it even easier to implement strikethrough formatting.

In digital communication, especially with the rise of word processing software and internet text formatting, the strikethrough gained new prominence. It became a convenient way to indicate deleted or amended text in documents, emails, instant messages, and forums. In coding and markup languages like HTML, Markdown, and LaTeX, the strikethrough is used to indicate content that has been deprecated or no longer valid. It is also commonly used in version control systems like Git to show changes made to code.

At the time of this writing, the strikethrough is perhaps most ubiquitous in the G-suite – those collaborating on google docs will recognize the editing tool as one that serves when offering a suggestion.

The strikethrough is an act of negation that allows what is negated to remain visually discernable.

So, the strikethrough is what is and is not.

In between what is and is not – there is the balance point on which i place my name – simultaneously retaining it as a marker of myself while rejecting its patriarchal genesis.

There is no inherent connection between the strikethrough and patriarchy in the symbol itself, but the symbol can be understood within certain contexts of gender dynamics and power structures. These include language and communication norms, dismissal and disregard, gaslighting, and manipulation. Historically, men and male-appearing persons have held more power in shaping language and communication norms. This has led to linguistic expressions that reflect or reinforce patriarchal values. Usage of the strikethrough in communication reflects broader power dynamics: it can be deployed to dismiss or invalidate someone's statement or perspective. This can be seen as a manifestation of patriarchal attitudes where the voices or contributions of marginalized individuals are silenced or disregarded.

Like other forms of communication, the strikethrough can be appropriated, reclaimed, or repurposed as a tool for feminist or queer expression. In the realm of feminist and queer discourse, language is often reclaimed and subverted to challenge dominant narratives and power structures. The strikethrough can be used to subvert traditional language norms, challenge oppressive ideas, or foreground the erasure of marginalized voices.

The strikethrough can be employed to highlight the intersections of various identities and experiences. For example, it can be used to cross out terms that perpetuate heteronormativity, cisnormativity, or other forms of oppression, thereby drawing attention to the ways in which different systems of power intersect.

The strikethrough can disrupt binary thinking and challenge the idea of fixed categories. In discussions of gender, for instance, it can be used to strike through binary gender labels and emphasize the fluidity and complexity of gender identity.

Queer theory often seeks to disrupt normative understandings of language and identity. The strikethrough can be employed as a tool to queer language by destabilizing meanings and opening up new possibilities for interpretation.

Using the strikethrough is a way for individuals to assert agency and autonomy over their own narratives, signaling resistance to dominant discourses and affirm the validity of diverse perspectives and experiences. Its versatility allows for creative expression and opens up new avenues for communication and resistance.

i put forth the possibility that the employment of the strikethrough in naming is an effective form of subversion, challenging naming conventions and mocking traditional labels. To do so offers a luminous, liberatory power in contexts where the strikethrough is used to cross out oppressive or outdated names or terms. The norm of children assuming the name of their biological male progenitor is one such oppressive and outdated form of heteronormativity.

In time, others may use the strikethrough in naming as a way to explore or express fluid or evolving aspects of their identity. It is a means of signaling non-conformity or resisting fixed categorizations. Using the strikethrough in naming draws attention to the complexities and nuances of identity, including intersecting identities and experiences that are marginalized or erased. It serves as a reminder of the multiplicity of identities that individuals may hold.

While the strikethrough can be a visually striking and memorable naming convention, it's worth considering its practical implications and limitations. Depending on the platform or context, the strikethrough may not be fully supported or may cause confusion for users who are unfamiliar with its meaning or unaware of this lengthy explanation.

Incorporating the strikethrough as a part of my lived name is a constant evocation of the relationship between presence and absence.

i don’t merely seek to (yet again) negate patriarchy, i add to my life the association that brings to me the most joy. It is just like the other, personal convention i observe –  i never capitalize the singular that represents myself. Holding this participle to the lower case requires the same amount of labor, effort, and intervention that i employ in the use of the strikethrough. To do so violates the rules. To do so requires a series of pauses, a closer read, a consistent effort.

For me the strikethrough is not just a typographic choice, but an effortful symbol of liberation and defiance.

Born into a world where patriarchal systems seek to define and confine, i reclaim agency by paradoxically negating and retaining my surname as a marker that is and is not.